Thursday, 2 December 2010
ANDY WATT
I was well-pleased to read in the obituaries of the actor Leslie Nielsen – who died this week at the age of 84 – that he had started out as a serious actor, but decided against it in later life. "I've finally found my home," he said, upon being cast in Airplane! in his fifties, when critics warned that he was being cast against type and bound to fail. Indeed, so much did he prefer the mask of comedy to the mask of tragedy that even in his own time he liked to stand in a crowded elevator, urge the palms of his hands to mimic flatulence and then apologise sheepishly. What a guy!
Legally deaf since youth, coming from a home where he and his mother were beaten by his father, volunteering to fight in the Second World War at the age of 17, one shudders to think what your average modern luvvie would make of this challenging start to life.
Can't we just imagine them sharing their pain and suffering for their art while blubbing all the way to the bank! Even though "serious actor" is an oxymoron right up there with "friendly divorce", it is not unknown for luvvies to compare their profession to armed conflict. For instance, my much-adored actress mate Joanne Good, discussing her appearance in Cinderella alongside Julian Clary and a large pumpkin some years back, likened it to "being in the trenches during the First World War and about to go over the top". Bless! While Liz Hurley notoriously used to describe non-pretendys as "civilians", saying that she could never date one because they wouldn't be able to deal with the "pressure". Liz, love, you made your living by showing your tits to strangers for payment – the word is "punters", not "civilians".
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